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The right Granny Chat Up Lines Will Help You Get Laid

When it comes to bedding a dirty older woman it all comes down to saying the right thing at the right time. Our grannies like a man to show off his confidence, to be assertive whilst not to come across as an arrogant pig. It’s all about having the right granny chat, the banter and the lines that will woo a mature lass into the bedroom, without resulting in you getting a slap across the face. So how does a young, spunky guy full of beans get to know what to say? Well sit back dear reader, as we talk you through the best way to speak to our older, female members at

Start off by getting her attention

anyone can chat up a granny for sexSo you’re logged into your account and you’ve found a mature lady that you like the look off.  She lives local to you, and shares the same interests, be it oral sex, swinging, or sucking toes on a Sunday morning. You can tell she is quite popular due to the amount of gits and winks she’s received, which means you need to get her attention with something more than just, ‘Hi, how are you?’.  What do you say? Well we recommend starting off with something out the box, a bit wacky, but sure to get a response. Keep it light-hearted at this point, and never go in with what you really want straight away. I.e never open with, ‘Do you want to meet for sex?’ It’s a sure fire way to not get a reply.

Go for something more along the lines of, ‘I was thinking about robbing the local bank and I’m really in need of an accomplice. If you’re interested I’ll need to know your strengths and what you can bring to this partnership’. This might sound a bit cheesy, but what it does is introduce yourself as a funny, friendly guy, whilst posing a situation that the two of you are involved with, and more important that you think shes a good match for you, without actually having to say it. You’re also leaving it on a question at the end, which will illicit a reply.

Make sure you chat her up, not down!

So your opening chatup line worked. You’ve got the attention of the woman of your dreams. If everything has gone to plan she should have replied with some in reply to our first message. Now you’ve got her on the same wave length it’s time to start moving the conversation down a more dirty path.  Start by mentioning her interests, so for example, if she’s into sucking dick, mention it’s something about the fact that you like to receive it, and that you’re a match made in heaven.

Whatever you do at this point keep things flirty, don’t go getting too heavy yet, you still want to build interest and intrigue in who you are. Keep the questions coming in, but heat them up a bit. We really liked one message thread we once saw that was between a younger guy and his favourite granny. It was basically the two of them linking each other porn clips and exclaiming they would love to be doing that with each other. Although be warned, this isn’t always going to work so make sure you read how the conversations going before you just drop in a clip to your number 1 bukakke clip.

Remain friendly and polite, whilst teasing

chatting up women is easier onlineWomen love to be teased, it’s one of the best ways to build attraction. We can’t recommend it enough, it’s what ultimately will keep you in a dominate position throughout the chat. Just make sure you don’t say anything that’s too cutting or controversial. For example if she looks like she might have issues surrounding her weight, don’t say something like, ‘I see you have a few extra pounds. I guess that’s more cushin’ for the pushin!’ This will no go down well, and will definitely end you up getting blocked.

Try and tease in a provocative, sexy way. It’s good to say something like, ‘I bet I could make you cum more than you could make me.’ Again this gets your intentions across, without you having to directly say them. If she starts to tease you back, great, this is a great indicator that she feels beneath you, and is trying to retaliate to even the playing field. If this happens make sure you play down her responses, again tease, but in a friendly manner, don’t just belittle her or embarrass her. This will not go down well at all.

Reap the rewards of your granny chat up lines

If you’re lucky you might be able to move through this sequence of granny chat ups within a day, but that would depend on how active you both are. Hopefully you’ll both be taking full advantage of our optimised mobile site, that will allow you to keep chatting even when you’re not at a computer. For most people it might take several days to a week, but you’ll know when you’re at the point of asking to meet up because you’ll be noticing her replies are becoming more frequent, she might even be messaging you, more than your messaging her – which is the perfect scenario.

At this point it’s time to just dive in and find out when she wants to meet. Even if she’s not ready for it, she’ll be polite and want to continue talking with you until she does. Suggest meeting up for drinks at a bar, or pub, somewhere local and not too noisy (night club is out of the question) but also not too dead, you don’t want to creep her out by meeting at a graveyard, or that nice secluded alleyway you know about… Just remember to have fun, be cool, stay witty, and enjoy all the benefits of having as much granny sex as you could possibly want.

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